Benefits of Being a Woman

  1. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
  2. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
  3. It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
  4. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we are gay.
  5. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE ARE gay.
  6. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
  7. We know The Truth about whether size matters.
  8. If we have sex with someone and don’t call them the next day, we’re not the devil.
  9. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
  10. If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
  11. No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.
  12. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
  13. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
  14. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
  15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
  16. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
  17. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
  18. We know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
  19. Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
  20. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
  21. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
  22. We never ejaculate prematurely.
  23. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous – guys look like complete idiots in ours.
  24. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
  25. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
  26. Taxis stop for us.
  27. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
  28. Our acceptance of being physical weaker and higher inclination to spirituality has helped us become emotionally strong, thus, giving us higher chances of a longer life.
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